Thursday, February 04, 2010

Traffic Thoughts

If your Toyota Echo or Corolla accelerates unintentionally, sit back and enjoy. I've driven one too many four-bangers that couldn't deliver intentional acceleration with gas pedal pushed to the back of the radiator.

Trying on the indigo-blue jeans Thumper bought me last night, I am still wearing a blue oxford button down and suddenly I am my first GI-Joe. If I held one hand in a steady open grasp and the other in a permanent thumb and index finger point, I'm sure I would frighten several people who were kids in the sixties.

Thumper also bought herself some undies, one size larger. She explained that this replaced the pairs that I keep washing and tossing into a dryer set to "inferno." These were pre-shrunk.

She did not appreciate my first guess at her "raison d'achat."

According to the weather forecast, the mid-Atlantic is either in for a winter storm this weekend, or Armageddon. I'm still trying to parse the report's tone.

New Yorkers.
Philadelphians.
Liverpudlians.
Orlandians.
Tampons?

If you're coursing around in a BMW just be aware that I already suspect you of something, somewhere.

Santas Fe?

Hong Kongolese? For that matter.

Out of the blue (the best things usually come from there) I got a writing assignment offer today. Of course I accepted and shot the editor off a snappy note saying so. Also using the wrong possessive therein. This now equates me to the writer's equivalent of an exciteable Chihuahua who pisses himself when petted.

Bunny on.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jeni said...

Loved the comparison of yourself to the excitable Chihuahua! Too funny! Also the city names and their residents -Tampa -LOL

2:34 AM  

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