Tuesday, December 07, 2010

I.P. Freely

You've got to know where this is going, theme-wise. That we'll soon be in the scatalogical with gutter humor abounding.

So get off the bus now, 'cause we're heading to the downtown campus of U. Rhine and there ain't no restroom.

I'll dedicate this posting to the ride home tonight. About an hour and a half through moderate traffic and news radio. A mundane trip made notable by the Coca Cola I had finished just before leaving the office that made it known it was all done and would like to leave again. Now.

By the time now became NOW!!! I was in town and just close enough to home to chance it. It almost paid off, but gentle reader I confess I made it from the truck, leaving the door swinging open in the chill wind...to the side of the garage because there was no way in hell I was going to get through a deadbolt and door lock key combination with dry Dockers.

My property slopes away from the house and in the morning I'm going to have to see if the barn has washed away. Ok, at the very least the mulch pile is gone.

I'm not an advocate of public much of anything so I can tell you I'm pretty embarrassed by the whole thing.

Reminds me of my first visit to Disneyworld. I may have mentioned this in an earlier post but I'll be damned if I can find it. The one where I meet the girl and the old man decides the next morning to hoof off to the magic kingdom. Anyway, a straight shot from the Florida coast to Orlando is around two hours as I recall and as I recall too I had to pee about an hour into the thing. The old man was reluctant to stop since "we're almost there" and "I don't want to miss anything." Hint: Twenty some years later its all still there. You haven't missed a thing.

So "almost there" took another hour plus and by the time we pull into the parking lot to be guided into a space only to watch the next car park three seconds after us and the next three seconds after that I am full to bursting and if someone had gotten out of one of the cars and mentioned the word "waterfall" the Pavlovian reaction would have hit him like Polish government water cannons on Solidarity protestors.

The old man and mom went to buy tickets and I headed off to the rest room just by the edge of the parking lot. Apparently this sort of thing happens a lot.

I'm not sure how long I was in there but, reading newspaper accounts of the day I know that several boats in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride dislodged from their tracks and floated perilously close to the exhibits and four dolls in "It's a Small World" suffered irreversable water damage.

But I sure felt better.

Bunny on.

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