Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm Not a Wet Baby

And like anyone other than a wet baby, I don't like change.
Which is funny in that change seems to love me and follows me around like a hungry dog and I'm wearing Snausage aftershave.
This week, after studiously ignoring it, I changed my home email along with our home ISP.
That is to say, we changed the ISP about a week ago and they left me instructions on changing the email. Needless to say, something else to do that changes things, I slept, ate, watched TV, took out the trash and cut the lawn on it until I finally forced myself to go through the setup screens today.
Had to do it. The old email was shuttered. Changed ISP. See, its 2010 and I got the ridiculous notion in my head that for over a hundred bucks a month, I should be entitled to an ethernet cable that I could stick into a switch and power up more than one computer on.
Apparently, my ISP thought otherwise. I had contracted through Bigass, Inc., pretty much the only show in town at the time. Reluctantly of course, since I had once used Bigass, Inc. for cable only in a Previous Lifetime.
I hadn't started cable with Bigass, Inc. But they took over the local cable provider and the next thing you know, Pat Croce is all over the screen shilling his latest avoidable read "I Feel Terrific and You're Gonna Hear All About It Cause You Got No Choice."
Add t0 that they stuff silly little local interest stories in the middle of national news broadcasts so if you've only got fifteen minutes you're going to miss the updates on the California earthquake dropping LA into the Pacific because Elma Mipple from the Luvin' Kitty Kat Korner Klub is being interviewed.
Once I left my Previous Lifetime and moved into the Knob and Tube Palace, I was thrilled to find that Bigass didn't cover my area. There were two cable/ISP providers, Piddlydink and LocalPodunk. I went with Piddlydink and for about ninety bucks a month I got simple Outlook email, clear phone service and cable that plugged into the back of the TV and used the remote that came with the set.
What else did you need?
Then I had to go and change jobs.
Simple yet affordable Knob and Tube Palace was sold and we moved into humble Paramour that unfortunately was located in Unaffordable County. Walking to work was replaced with a drive and a security ID and a guard and a gate.
Piddlydink ISP went back to Bigass, Inc. and now my email featured Java-scripted stick figures dancing like she was stirring her children into a cooking kettle while the tag line announces that: "Obama Says Re-Mortgage Your Future!" and the weather in San Mateo, CA where Bigass Inc. ISP seems to think I live is always sunny and fine.
And instead of a router that plugs into a switch I got an option to pay another $6.95 per month to Bigass, Inc. for a second line. Plus the cable TV comes with a decoder box and its own remote so now we have enough button devices in the den to launch two space shuttles simultaneously.
Enough was enough and I went all Wet Baby on Bigass, Inc. and switched to Corporate Reset, Inc. as an ISP.
I'm now holding my breath for their particular foolishness but so far, so good. Yes I still have eighteen remotes and a branded home page but the remotes actually turn the TV on and not the blender and the home page only plugs their own products. I'd still rather have generic outlook but what ya gonna do? Only folks that write me at Causticbunny at Gmail.com are spam from women I once dated and the occasional Magazine Man or Cog wondering why the hell we haven't launched the 21st century version of George?
But I do have a wireless router which I wasn't expecting and that's the closest I'll come to kissing an installing technician named Bob.
So now I have a new personal email address and it took a while to name it. Tried to transfer my old email address which was my first unpublished novel @ Bigass.net but that domain was taken. Since I haven't named my second unpublished novel, much less written it, that was out of the question. Tried an older email address but it was gone too. Scratched my head and wondered what a big old stupid bunny was going to pick as an email address.

Apparently, that.

Bunny on.

3 Comments:

Blogger Ericka said...

i've had my main email for nearly 20 years, and i have a ridiculous attachment to it... so i keep it even though it gets about a million spam messages for every one i care about. sigh. one day, i too will change! but not today.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Johnny C. said...

My girlfriend just told me yesterday that we pay over $100 for internet and cable. I think we watch one cable station.

I actually wanted to give the dog one of the remotes to chew up.

9:37 AM  
Blogger cog said...

I can commit ten bucks toward the launch.

11:08 AM  

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