Tuesday, December 11, 2007

This Week's Puzzler

Tom: Hi, we're Clique and Clack, the high school snob group brothers, and we're here to talk cars, car repair, the puzzle of seventy five dollar tote bags, umbrellas and coffee mugs.

Ray: Don't pledge like my brother.

Tom: Don't pledge like my brother. If you have a Volvo or a Subaru and it has problems, why not give us a call? While you're on the line, make a donation. Heck, make two, there's a classical station across town.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Let's take our first caller, Catherine from Lake Constance.

Catherine: Hi guys.

Tom: Catherine, is that with a "K" or with a "C"?

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Catherine: A "C".

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: What seems to be your problem Catherine?

Catherine: My Volvo won't start.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Is that with a "C"?

Catherine: Yes.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Thanks for calling Car Squawk. Next caller?

Vic: Hi, its Vic from Brooklyn.

Tom: Vic. How the heck are things in Brooklyn?

Vic: Well, I'm parking my Subaru in what passes for a living room in this one room hell hole I'm paying more for in rent than most normal people pay for a house, a couple of acres of land and several garages. But that's beside the point. I'm a young artist in New York City.

Tom: Thanks for calling Vic. We'll cover the talent end. We're Frippe and Frappe, the milkshake brothers. Next caller?

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Dan: Hi, this is Dan from Reno.

Tom: Dan from Reno!

Dan: Right. With a "D." And an "R."

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Ok, what's the problem Dan?

Dan: Well, like I said, my Volvo is making this funny whining sound. Sort of like "whhhieeeeinnnggggth!" every time you slow for a stop.

Ray: "Whhhieeeinnnggggth?"

Dan: Right.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Would you make that sound again, Dan?

Dan: "Whhhieeeinnngggth."

Tom: Is anybody besides me flashing back to the Beatty scene in Deliverance?

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Dan: That's the sound it makes.

Tom: Clearly, you need a new car. That or you should never go canoeing.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: Who else we got on the line?

Karen: Hi, my name is Karen.

Ray: Is that Karen with a "Q" or with an umlaut?

Karen: Neither. A "K".

Tom: What's your problem, Karen?

Karen: I've got a late model Chevy that stalls right after you start it sometime.

Ray: Chevy?

Karen: Chevy. Camaro.

Tom: No idea what you're talking about. See ya Karen. Well that's it, you've wasted a perfectly good hour making my brother laugh. We're Flick and Flack, the shrapnel brothers and don't laugh like my brother.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: And even though Congress belches up another couple of million into the coffers of a quasi public corporation only to watch it and whatever bag of change you sent in during our last pledge marathon evaporate into thin air as we announce the thirteenth month of our never ending pledge marathon, this is NPR, never paid for Radio.

Ray: Ha ha ha.

Tom: See you next week.

Ray: Bunny on. Ha ha ha.

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