Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Save Me the Eleven Grand

Following is full disclosure of all items reviewed by the Caustic Bunny for commercial or other gain. In accordance with upcoming FTC regulations regarding endorsements in blogs herewith is presented full and complete disclosure of all items reviewed, endorsed or otherwise commented upon.

The Knitting Circle: Presented to this site in consideration of hundreds of miles run and hours of dirty jokes, deprecatory comments and sports wrap ups, The Knitting Circle does not financially, morally or even socially support this site. In fact, most of the members don't even remember the web link. Their reaction to this blog can be summed up in one of the Circle commenting that "reading the blog would be like looking in your underwear drawer."

The Old Man: Presented to this site in consideration of forty years of coexistance under what can be at best called spiteful detente. While The Old Man did financially support the site's creator for years, said creator did high tail it out of the house as soon as he could add up the sum of job+car+apartment. Truth be told, the Old Man had been dead four years before this site stumbled upon the idea of a literary dish best served cold.

Harry Moss: Presented to this site in consideration of twenty five years as a fictional character beginning as some ex-military action-adventure hero in the eighties to today's average joe with a closet full of anxieties spilling out on the bedroom floor. Nonetheless, still a pretty all around decent chap who wants to do the right thing even though he's pulled or wanders off the straight and narrow every now and again. Harry feels he is deeply owed for a particularly erotic chapter written and edited out on the advice of a good sister ("for five chapters he's barely unclipping her bra and now this??") but in truth had this site's creator never breathed life into Harry he never would have had that fleeting erotic interlude to begin with. As they say, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have imprinted your tatoo into the hotel bed sheets at all.

My referred to readers: Often as fictional as Harry, I'm sure you're out there somewhere. Hate to break this to you, but your fat envelopes of well-creased twenty dollar bills have failed to arrive for the 51st month in a row. Hence I owe you little but another post.

Thumper: Presented in consideration of if this doesn't work, I'm going hermit. While I owe Thumper untold fortunes, I am on an installment plan.

Assorted flotsam, jetsam, detrius and odds and ends: Hereto referred are presented in consideration of too many shitty days at the office and the occasional fishbowl martini that I should stop typing by. Anything anecdotally referenced or appearing as a supporting character or element to any of the above has contributed nothing financially to this site and as a matter of fact, if my time were money, they'd be on the hook for making me read their instruction manual.

The FTC and the greater current government they are an element of and hence represent: In consideration of not a damn thing since on the one hand they do not drive any readers, commerce or interested in Caustic Bunny franchisers my way but on the other are more than happy to extort eleven thousand dollars from me if a free soda "doesn't taste like so many turds floating in brackish water" the FTC can have a jolly old time finding me for "violations" akin to the traffic ticket on the 30th of the month. As to their larger sponsors, it is herewith declared that while no TARP, stimulus nor other funds were, are or will be accepted by this site, this site's creator will be ponying up way too fucking much for support of larger sponsor.

So I would suggest you all start disclosing pretty damn soon, whatever czar you are this week.

Bunny on, shot across the bow-wise.

1 Comments:

Blogger Thimbelle said...

In all my many, many, many years blogging, I believe I have earned almost enough from my blog to buy a single MP3 over at Wal-Mart dot com.

I'm on fire...

3:33 AM  

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