I'm Waaaaaitinnnng!
We're almost a week into April and I'm waiting for the April Fool's prank that is masquerading as current reality to end and someone to spring from the shadows to shout "April Fool's!"
But no.
I think this is what we're presently stuck with.
The weather hasn't found the thermostat yet so April showers are bringing April snows and that may bring cussing of a kind you have yet to hear. Parents, cover your children's ears unless of course you want to outsource "the talk" to me.
The economy is still in reverse but the local Safeway ran out of paper bags last night. Wall Street Journal picked that up as inventories dropping. So maybe somebody's buying something. Somewhere. Just hush up and listen. There!
No, that's GM collapsing.
It's their own damn fault. They built all those cars nobody wanted when gas shot up to $4.50 and a hummer to fill your Hummer. Ok, just because everybody walked into their showrooms dragging salespeople to the biggest hunk of steel and rubber on the floor pointing and asking how many Saturns could get mashed up in the wheel wells didn't mean they actually had to sell what people wanted. They could have steered them to the sensible four cylinder economy models, the ones that compete with little Hondas, Toyotas, Fords, Kias, Hyundais and others that come with a standard bell that rings every fifteen seconds to wake the driver up because they're so asininely boring to drive.
I'm back to holding women's purses but this time it's Thumper's purse and she shops at Home Depot. So while she's all over the new Bosch impact drill, I'll hold the Coach and scan decorating articles in the magazine rack.
And speaking of home improvement, that season is almost back upon us in full fury. Spent the last two weekends in the backyard of Paramour with a scythe and machete and ax to find that, indeed, Paramour has a backyard. Just got a little grown over. Like most in this economy, we're planning to plant a little vegetable garden. Unlike most, I'm mining it first. A little Claymore with your radishes?
So I guess there'll be no shouting. Things are about as dysfunctional as they always are in bunny world.
Toast one to April then, often called "the cruellest month" and that would be after January, February, March and those months when children are out of school yet not quite ready for summer jobs yet even though I don't see a problem with salt mines and field hoeing. We're getting soft when we expect our ten year olds to contribute nothing. Why, when I was a boy...
Shit. Don't tell me that's starting.
Bunny on.
But no.
I think this is what we're presently stuck with.
The weather hasn't found the thermostat yet so April showers are bringing April snows and that may bring cussing of a kind you have yet to hear. Parents, cover your children's ears unless of course you want to outsource "the talk" to me.
The economy is still in reverse but the local Safeway ran out of paper bags last night. Wall Street Journal picked that up as inventories dropping. So maybe somebody's buying something. Somewhere. Just hush up and listen. There!
No, that's GM collapsing.
It's their own damn fault. They built all those cars nobody wanted when gas shot up to $4.50 and a hummer to fill your Hummer. Ok, just because everybody walked into their showrooms dragging salespeople to the biggest hunk of steel and rubber on the floor pointing and asking how many Saturns could get mashed up in the wheel wells didn't mean they actually had to sell what people wanted. They could have steered them to the sensible four cylinder economy models, the ones that compete with little Hondas, Toyotas, Fords, Kias, Hyundais and others that come with a standard bell that rings every fifteen seconds to wake the driver up because they're so asininely boring to drive.
I'm back to holding women's purses but this time it's Thumper's purse and she shops at Home Depot. So while she's all over the new Bosch impact drill, I'll hold the Coach and scan decorating articles in the magazine rack.
And speaking of home improvement, that season is almost back upon us in full fury. Spent the last two weekends in the backyard of Paramour with a scythe and machete and ax to find that, indeed, Paramour has a backyard. Just got a little grown over. Like most in this economy, we're planning to plant a little vegetable garden. Unlike most, I'm mining it first. A little Claymore with your radishes?
So I guess there'll be no shouting. Things are about as dysfunctional as they always are in bunny world.
Toast one to April then, often called "the cruellest month" and that would be after January, February, March and those months when children are out of school yet not quite ready for summer jobs yet even though I don't see a problem with salt mines and field hoeing. We're getting soft when we expect our ten year olds to contribute nothing. Why, when I was a boy...
Shit. Don't tell me that's starting.
Bunny on.
posted by The Caustic Bunny at Wednesday, April 08, 2009
1 Comments:
Thanks for the post! Kinda funny about the paper bags running out at Safeway. My mother just told me that her Shop Rite now keeps the paper bags behind the counter, where only the cashier has access to them. Why? Because their security cameras caught people taking a few extras home along with their groceries. Guess that would explain why McDonald's hides the sugar behind the counter now, along with the ketchup. I hate having to beg and plead, but my family really does need 10 of those little packets! Granted, at least 2 packets worth end up on my toddler's clothes.... Keep on hopping.
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