Thursday, August 09, 2007

Sneaking Around

There's a Good Morning America or Today Show or one of those "Wake the Freak Up Already" morning show clips where a haughty little editor corrects the host on shoe terminology.

"We call them running shoes." says he, rebuffing the reference to "sneakers."

Well, la de dah. And if you slow to a walk, need they be removed? How about if you're just standing around? Slip into a nice pair of "Standarounds?" Whoops, we're off and running again, no doubt the morning copy of the New York Times has just arrived and we're going to solve the secret word puzzle. This week, it spells "we make this shit up for our own chuckles."

Sorry to have ruined that for you, Orphan Annie fans.

So we're standing around outside yesterday, on the running track, waiting to do some speedwork in the blazing mid-day sun. We're wearing our "idiots ready to boil our brains out" footwear, no doubt.

Actually, a few of our ilk had picked up some new shoes and were comparing notes on what they got. "Its a 500GT." "I got the A-340-Performance."

What are these? Cars? Geez, there was more excitement abounding than if someone had waltzed in with a Ferrari. And then we could have spent our lunch hour with the air conditioning on.

Are shoes becoming like cars? If so, will we stand around with our buddies in the driveway admiring what's under the toebox of his new Balance 929? How about Friday night? Take Missy out to the movies and get frisky in the heel? Yum! That's where the shock absorbing gel insert is. Let's hope she doesn't have one as well, she swore they were natural.

I go through a pair of shoes I use for running about once every three months. I use these shoes I use for running quite a lot and they naturally wear down. There is a group in our town that recycles these shoes used for running. They are gathered up, cleaned and sent out to the less fortunate in other countries. In other words, they are returned to their point of origin.

"Look Abu, here are those bitching K-330's you sewed up last January. Nice job on the arch support."

"Hey, this S-660 you soled barely looks used."

"Fat kid from Jersey bought it. Used lightly, only hung around the mall."



Blogger Johnny C. said...

I feel like new balance only has one shoe, but they put different numbers in the name according to the color scheme.

9:25 AM  

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